It was the second day in Winter, November brought me many things, a chance to rekindle my friendship with Haruka, a former owner of my heart, the Nation made history by grabbing the Oricon Hot Rocket award (most downloaded album of the year), We sold out our first one man tour in less than three hours for next year, the Rekeshi single is already the most anticipated single of the new year and, it was almost time for my wedding, wow. So much had happened in the two years since I've been here, I never thought it would escalate of that I would have the courage and will and support of my friends to make it this far, but there was something in the air that morning when I woke up , the sky was grey, I bit my lip causing an itchy swelling on the inside of my lip, and I was cold, I couldn't shake it off even after a shower, Masa had already left, and left by the bed was a note with a small long box, another gift. "I'll be working late again, if you're dropping by the studio send me an e-mail, I'll call you at lunch, love, -your man." I traced the words with my finger tips, you see, the girlish heart inside of me was fluttering, and I still couldn't believe this was all real, it was too much, and for the first time in a very very long time, I though 'this is how my life is now, it's bliss.' Aside from the weather and my clumsiness, I had a good feeling.
I had a free day, we were working on the single as well, but I had to wait for Seiko and Tomo to create the composition, Erin was also sick, so I paid him a visit and hung out with him most of the day. He had stomach flu, it wasn't pretty, but I did warm up his food and stay by him, he got really embarassed and I knew why, we rarely hung out, but I didn't want him to be lonely, specially since we've been friends for so long and rarely know that much about eachother. "You miss L.A.?' he asked, his eye lids haf-way opened wrapped inside a blanket as we watched an episode of a very popular American Television series about a jerk doctor who is gifted with magical doctor powers, but he is a jerk. "Miss, L.A.? hmmm..." I thought about it, picking on my lip, it was swelling by now, I ignored it and thought about it, Los Angeles, between this city and that city, the difference.... do I miss it, what part of it...think Chara...'
"I don't know," my voice was strange, he made a noise, like a whine, "It's hard isn't it? With this life we have...that we couldn't imagine in the Angeles, almost too good to be true and yet...it's not a lie, is it?" I smiled and patted his head, "It isn't. The differences are subtle, but there, we can't buy things we grew up with, even i have trouble when I'm on the street alone, but...Los Angeles, that sky line...even though the buildins here are bigger and more varied, I still miss that familiar skyline, driving through the 71, I remembered all the places where we've been, nostalgic, I do miss it sometimes, but at the same time, i am glad I left it, you know?" He smiled and nodded, sneezing I handed him a tissue. "Charls, you shouldn't stay so long you'll catch it," I was wearing a mask over my face but I understood Erin's concerns. "I know, I just don't feel right that you're all alone, specially after the whole Umi thing," His last girlfriend, Umi Tatsuya, was a model turned idol, he dumped her afterwards, since she only used him to get the job as an idol, this happened two months ago, but Erin is still troubled by it even though he is dating again, they end up more like one night stands. Erin sighed I hugged him and petted his head. "I'm sorry, we should have protected you better." My heart hurt for Erin, he searches and searches but can't find a good girl. "It's okay, it's better to have loved right?" he smiled sadly, I petted him again, "I'll be find Charls, if things get desperate I'll go in for matchmaking sessions." I couldn't help but laugh, his light personality made it easy to take advantage of, but past his light brown blond hair, Erin was a fragile drummer, kind of like someone we idolized. I had to get to the studio by 6, it was nearing 4:30, I bid Erin goodbye leaving him sleeping with the lights on, I hope his flu will get over soon, he brings a sunshine to the band, to make up for Tomo's silence and Seiko's darkness, I wonder what kind of atmosphere I bring? The trouble making kind maybe? hmm...the sad kind? I thought of these things as I put the blonde wig on my head and the bug eye sunglasses and blended in with the crowd on the streets. It was so dark outside, and then it happened, the dust was everywhere, no it wasn't dust, the shivers in my bones, this was...."snow?" Seiko's eyes almost grew three times bigger. "It's snowing! It's snowing and this damn song isn't done yet, dammit! Dammit!" she scratched and added things to her sheet of paper Tomo was on the couch listening to his headphones, or maybe he was asleep?
"Dammit!" Seiko seemed upset, but it was funny to me I couldn't help but laugh. "Why are you so upset?" "Dammit!" she came back for a second picking up her guitar and palying a composition. "I bet Shou I could finish this song by the first snow, dammit, Chara, I don't want to sing kareokee with him on New Years!" My sides began to hurt then from all the laughing, you see Seiko is tone deaf, and...well it's just plain cruel for Shou to want to sing with her, whenever we did the competative anxiousness in Seiko wouldn't let her give up and she sang until her heart poured out and all the gin was gone, last year a similar thing happened during Valentines, it was burtal and we ended up carrying Seiko out who was mumbling about her revenge. "D sharp, minor, trimolo, ughh.. Chara how high can you sing? an C highscale sharp right?" I nodded, half-way knowing what that meant, she played the composition over again and finally calmed down. "Oh, Charls!" seems not to be angry now, "Haruka and Shou want to know if you will go shopping with them," "What? Why me?" "They are getting something for me and Saga for our engagement party, but since your phone got broken they haven't been able to contact you, speaking of which, Michio left you a new phone in your locker, personalized too, isn't he the best president ever" She seemed happier, I went to the locker to retrieve it on the way I saw a person everyone would recognize, but of course, still in my wig and glasses, she wouldn't know me. Taka's assistant intern, I've ran into her three other times before, but for some reason, this time seeemed sketchy, as sketchy as it was I tried not to midn it and headed to the lockerrooms.
Sometimes we have to sleep over and many people have lockers here, but ours are special, not down in the lobby but up on the third floor next to Michio's office, for added security, I retrieved it, on my way back I saw Taka at the elevator, I was about to call out to him, but his intern was there, they exchanged words, then she left on the elevator she was smiling, and so was he, for some reason it didn't seem like a normal smile, and a shiver went down my spine. It shook my body, and then I tried to push it out of my mind. I returned to the locker room , and hid there for a while, Taka didn't seem to see me, I admired my phone to avoid thinking things I didn't want to. It was bigger than my last one, from the looks of it had internet and a touch screen, it bore a logo of a famous Loversoul cd cover that was my favorite, and my heart sank as I thought of how much Michio thought of me when he ordered it. I was glad to have such a man think of me as his daughter, then thinking back to Nami, and how kindly she treats me as well, then I thought of Layla, that woman who, no even if she was his first love--I shook again.
The snow was falling, for some reason, it felt like a prelude to a very sad story, one where the winner become the one who's lost it all, and there is no I'm sorry or forgive me, there is only pain, and a blackness that eats away at the soul, until there is nothing left but the bones called sorrow and heartbreak. Somehow, I knew the glittering ring on my finger would soon be the noose around my neck, and I'd have no where to run, the magic in my world had run out with every flake that melted into nothing on the cold Tokyo streets.
I had a free day, we were working on the single as well, but I had to wait for Seiko and Tomo to create the composition, Erin was also sick, so I paid him a visit and hung out with him most of the day. He had stomach flu, it wasn't pretty, but I did warm up his food and stay by him, he got really embarassed and I knew why, we rarely hung out, but I didn't want him to be lonely, specially since we've been friends for so long and rarely know that much about eachother. "You miss L.A.?' he asked, his eye lids haf-way opened wrapped inside a blanket as we watched an episode of a very popular American Television series about a jerk doctor who is gifted with magical doctor powers, but he is a jerk. "Miss, L.A.? hmmm..." I thought about it, picking on my lip, it was swelling by now, I ignored it and thought about it, Los Angeles, between this city and that city, the difference.... do I miss it, what part of it...think Chara...'
"I don't know," my voice was strange, he made a noise, like a whine, "It's hard isn't it? With this life we have...that we couldn't imagine in the Angeles, almost too good to be true and yet...it's not a lie, is it?" I smiled and patted his head, "It isn't. The differences are subtle, but there, we can't buy things we grew up with, even i have trouble when I'm on the street alone, but...Los Angeles, that sky line...even though the buildins here are bigger and more varied, I still miss that familiar skyline, driving through the 71, I remembered all the places where we've been, nostalgic, I do miss it sometimes, but at the same time, i am glad I left it, you know?" He smiled and nodded, sneezing I handed him a tissue. "Charls, you shouldn't stay so long you'll catch it," I was wearing a mask over my face but I understood Erin's concerns. "I know, I just don't feel right that you're all alone, specially after the whole Umi thing," His last girlfriend, Umi Tatsuya, was a model turned idol, he dumped her afterwards, since she only used him to get the job as an idol, this happened two months ago, but Erin is still troubled by it even though he is dating again, they end up more like one night stands. Erin sighed I hugged him and petted his head. "I'm sorry, we should have protected you better." My heart hurt for Erin, he searches and searches but can't find a good girl. "It's okay, it's better to have loved right?" he smiled sadly, I petted him again, "I'll be find Charls, if things get desperate I'll go in for matchmaking sessions." I couldn't help but laugh, his light personality made it easy to take advantage of, but past his light brown blond hair, Erin was a fragile drummer, kind of like someone we idolized. I had to get to the studio by 6, it was nearing 4:30, I bid Erin goodbye leaving him sleeping with the lights on, I hope his flu will get over soon, he brings a sunshine to the band, to make up for Tomo's silence and Seiko's darkness, I wonder what kind of atmosphere I bring? The trouble making kind maybe? hmm...the sad kind? I thought of these things as I put the blonde wig on my head and the bug eye sunglasses and blended in with the crowd on the streets. It was so dark outside, and then it happened, the dust was everywhere, no it wasn't dust, the shivers in my bones, this was...."snow?" Seiko's eyes almost grew three times bigger. "It's snowing! It's snowing and this damn song isn't done yet, dammit! Dammit!" she scratched and added things to her sheet of paper Tomo was on the couch listening to his headphones, or maybe he was asleep?
"Dammit!" Seiko seemed upset, but it was funny to me I couldn't help but laugh. "Why are you so upset?" "Dammit!" she came back for a second picking up her guitar and palying a composition. "I bet Shou I could finish this song by the first snow, dammit, Chara, I don't want to sing kareokee with him on New Years!" My sides began to hurt then from all the laughing, you see Seiko is tone deaf, and...well it's just plain cruel for Shou to want to sing with her, whenever we did the competative anxiousness in Seiko wouldn't let her give up and she sang until her heart poured out and all the gin was gone, last year a similar thing happened during Valentines, it was burtal and we ended up carrying Seiko out who was mumbling about her revenge. "D sharp, minor, trimolo, ughh.. Chara how high can you sing? an C highscale sharp right?" I nodded, half-way knowing what that meant, she played the composition over again and finally calmed down. "Oh, Charls!" seems not to be angry now, "Haruka and Shou want to know if you will go shopping with them," "What? Why me?" "They are getting something for me and Saga for our engagement party, but since your phone got broken they haven't been able to contact you, speaking of which, Michio left you a new phone in your locker, personalized too, isn't he the best president ever" She seemed happier, I went to the locker to retrieve it on the way I saw a person everyone would recognize, but of course, still in my wig and glasses, she wouldn't know me. Taka's assistant intern, I've ran into her three other times before, but for some reason, this time seeemed sketchy, as sketchy as it was I tried not to midn it and headed to the lockerrooms.
Sometimes we have to sleep over and many people have lockers here, but ours are special, not down in the lobby but up on the third floor next to Michio's office, for added security, I retrieved it, on my way back I saw Taka at the elevator, I was about to call out to him, but his intern was there, they exchanged words, then she left on the elevator she was smiling, and so was he, for some reason it didn't seem like a normal smile, and a shiver went down my spine. It shook my body, and then I tried to push it out of my mind. I returned to the locker room , and hid there for a while, Taka didn't seem to see me, I admired my phone to avoid thinking things I didn't want to. It was bigger than my last one, from the looks of it had internet and a touch screen, it bore a logo of a famous Loversoul cd cover that was my favorite, and my heart sank as I thought of how much Michio thought of me when he ordered it. I was glad to have such a man think of me as his daughter, then thinking back to Nami, and how kindly she treats me as well, then I thought of Layla, that woman who, no even if she was his first love--I shook again.
The snow was falling, for some reason, it felt like a prelude to a very sad story, one where the winner become the one who's lost it all, and there is no I'm sorry or forgive me, there is only pain, and a blackness that eats away at the soul, until there is nothing left but the bones called sorrow and heartbreak. Somehow, I knew the glittering ring on my finger would soon be the noose around my neck, and I'd have no where to run, the magic in my world had run out with every flake that melted into nothing on the cold Tokyo streets.
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