Second stop.
- Azayama Blitz. Two weeks on the road. Two days here.
After the argument I got into with Haruka I've been avoiding him so after the train arrived at the station I just stuck behind Tomo. Seiko had been hanging out with Glorious Jane because she doesn't really care about what the fans or the media thinks and since this is a mix festival with five stops it would be normal for all of us to be together and talking, but I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to be left alone, and with Tomo he always seems to give me that but in an aware state.
On the train he let me lean against him and he listening to music and read a book because he can't sleep on trains, the entire time I looked out the window and read some fan mail on my phone. I am appreciative of the fans, but recently I've been getting a lot of hate mail from Masake's fans and my own. A very popular phrase in these messages is "Stupid Bitch," and "Junkie". The rumor was that while in Paris we appeared drugged up, and though some of that was true, I couldn't help but feel betrayed, maybe this is how they felt, I just stared at those words and tried to get past what was my past now. Move on because the me that I know, and that I am couldn't live her life like that, I'm no rockstar, if anything I'm just a rock.
As soon as we arrived at the station Tomo woke me up, "we're here," he already had my bag slung across his back all that was left was for me to put my shoes back on and follow him and the rest of the members out behind Emily. We were walking to the hotel even though Tomo was still tired he, waited for me to walk beside him just so that I can be in his shadow so that everyone would leave me alone, incognito Tomo is actually pretty scary looking, something I always liked about him and tried to emulate on stage but of course I could never be THAT cool. One thing that struck me when Emily pointed out the hotel, was that I remember exactly why and when Tomo started treating me like this. I suppose this came from our days in Los Angeles after the whole thing with Umi, my crazy ex-boyfriend after Haruka who would try to get me back after the abuse and the fear, and his obsession with me and Tomo's reaction to it. He once told me that his dad was like mine and I identified so much Tomo since I met him in a convention I had manged to go to when I was 14 and it was because of this minute detail, we were both 'evil brats' and needed too much 'discipline' and when his father would hurt his mom Tomo would naturally protect her even when he was a just a kid. He didn't always win but eventually he worked up the courage to call the cops one evening when what he described was happening to his mom reminded me of what happened to me the night I ran out of the house into the storm and that kind older bus driver with the white whiskers charitably took me away from the madness and brought me to where I am now. When Umi tried to pull me with him ,I refused and his hand went up , I flinched at the sight of that gesture and my skin remembered it ,just at that moment Tomo had left to work but he had forgot to get something from the house and walked in on that scene. Well, he beat Umi bloody and threatened to do worse if he ever bothered me again, that's when Tomo really grew in my heart ,not romantically, but we bonded through some type of trust, and he was like my brother ever since.
Like now, when Masake tried to get me back and Haruka got mad at me for even talking to him and his trying to convince me to see the truth about him, and Tomo just kept stepping between us, and saying "it's her choice." Just remembering it is making me shaky, luckily we're in the lobby only a few minutes before we get into the elevator after Emily joins us and a sighing Seiko rejoins our party. Emily basically explains what's going to be happening tomorrow, "Today the crew is just setting things up, you guys are having a rehearsal in the morning at 10 so be ready by 9:30, Today is a free day with a lunch at 2pm that you can chose to or to not attend, at 4pm Sakura Rock Radio is offering an online interview that you can chose to or to not attend and dinner at 9pm which-" "We can choose to or to not attend," Seiko finished off with a yawn, Tomo laughed and asked, 'Were are all the restaurants anyways? In the hotel or near it?" Erin was half alseep against the wall of the elevator shifting only slightly when it stopped on the wrong floor. "In the hotel" Emily finished looking tired herself, "if you can try to make the online interview it's a live chat with fans, that's always a good point booster." I looked over at Tomo and knew he was very tired as well, he nodded as in agreement to the interview and didn't want to leave him hanging, just then Seiko spoke up, "I'll join in too, you two take a rest for the day you look terrible," Erin just nodded and the doors opened again we all got out . I felt like a stone was covernig my eye lids pushing them down and I was trying to fight against the weight of it all, so I stopped listening to everything else Emily said and followed behind Tomo, just as we stopped at Erin's room and he went in, she waved her phone in front of me, "I'll call you later, go to sleep now" she pointed at room 304 at the end of the hallway and gave me a room card, I headed my merry way while Tomo and Seiko went back to the elevator with Emily talking about God only knows what, their rooms must be on another floor, or maybe they were preparing for the interview? I slid the card key, opened the door came in and quickly shut it behind me, kicking off my shoes and throwing down my bag on the floor, I just want to bury my face into a cool pillow and pull the maybe herpes infested covers over it and enjoy a few minutes of peace. I made my way past the small chair and other furniture in the dark until I found the bed, and jumped on it, something hard dug into my shoulder and I let out a scream. alerted, I took my phone out to see what alien body might be waiting for me, but it was just a basket of stuff the hotel had left for me to use in my stay, perfumes, and bath stuff, slipper, I tossed it to the floor and put music on my phone to play while I slept, I liked this bit, so I put on some Loversoul and headed into a deeper coma.
They were hazel, the eyes in my dream.
I was running past people, past buildings, and it was raining, I don't understand why since it was sunny out, but I couldn't see the sun either. I ran so fast and so far I forgot why I was running and I hit something against my foot, I stumbled and fell, I hit the grund hard, it was soft grass, I had come to some grassy area, but something else was happening. My chest was going crazy and I was hyperventilazting, something had happened to me and i was upset, so upset I couldn't think straight, I fell to the grass crying in a daze but I went right through it and I was now crying on my bed, soft and cold, familiar to me, this strange thing. I was crying but something else was there as well, I felt a wamrth beside me, I reached out for it curiously, and it pulled me closer, I looked up to the see the source, moonlit skin, and hazel eyes, an expression, that kind only he knew how to give, and he said something, something I can't recall, but I haven't forgotten. What were they??
They seem so close to me, yet so far away.
A song came into my dreams, I couldn't stop it, as soon as my alarm clock woke me I had to write it down.
- Azayama Blitz. Two weeks on the road. Two days here.
After the argument I got into with Haruka I've been avoiding him so after the train arrived at the station I just stuck behind Tomo. Seiko had been hanging out with Glorious Jane because she doesn't really care about what the fans or the media thinks and since this is a mix festival with five stops it would be normal for all of us to be together and talking, but I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to be left alone, and with Tomo he always seems to give me that but in an aware state.
On the train he let me lean against him and he listening to music and read a book because he can't sleep on trains, the entire time I looked out the window and read some fan mail on my phone. I am appreciative of the fans, but recently I've been getting a lot of hate mail from Masake's fans and my own. A very popular phrase in these messages is "Stupid Bitch," and "Junkie". The rumor was that while in Paris we appeared drugged up, and though some of that was true, I couldn't help but feel betrayed, maybe this is how they felt, I just stared at those words and tried to get past what was my past now. Move on because the me that I know, and that I am couldn't live her life like that, I'm no rockstar, if anything I'm just a rock.
As soon as we arrived at the station Tomo woke me up, "we're here," he already had my bag slung across his back all that was left was for me to put my shoes back on and follow him and the rest of the members out behind Emily. We were walking to the hotel even though Tomo was still tired he, waited for me to walk beside him just so that I can be in his shadow so that everyone would leave me alone, incognito Tomo is actually pretty scary looking, something I always liked about him and tried to emulate on stage but of course I could never be THAT cool. One thing that struck me when Emily pointed out the hotel, was that I remember exactly why and when Tomo started treating me like this. I suppose this came from our days in Los Angeles after the whole thing with Umi, my crazy ex-boyfriend after Haruka who would try to get me back after the abuse and the fear, and his obsession with me and Tomo's reaction to it. He once told me that his dad was like mine and I identified so much Tomo since I met him in a convention I had manged to go to when I was 14 and it was because of this minute detail, we were both 'evil brats' and needed too much 'discipline' and when his father would hurt his mom Tomo would naturally protect her even when he was a just a kid. He didn't always win but eventually he worked up the courage to call the cops one evening when what he described was happening to his mom reminded me of what happened to me the night I ran out of the house into the storm and that kind older bus driver with the white whiskers charitably took me away from the madness and brought me to where I am now. When Umi tried to pull me with him ,I refused and his hand went up , I flinched at the sight of that gesture and my skin remembered it ,just at that moment Tomo had left to work but he had forgot to get something from the house and walked in on that scene. Well, he beat Umi bloody and threatened to do worse if he ever bothered me again, that's when Tomo really grew in my heart ,not romantically, but we bonded through some type of trust, and he was like my brother ever since.
Like now, when Masake tried to get me back and Haruka got mad at me for even talking to him and his trying to convince me to see the truth about him, and Tomo just kept stepping between us, and saying "it's her choice." Just remembering it is making me shaky, luckily we're in the lobby only a few minutes before we get into the elevator after Emily joins us and a sighing Seiko rejoins our party. Emily basically explains what's going to be happening tomorrow, "Today the crew is just setting things up, you guys are having a rehearsal in the morning at 10 so be ready by 9:30, Today is a free day with a lunch at 2pm that you can chose to or to not attend, at 4pm Sakura Rock Radio is offering an online interview that you can chose to or to not attend and dinner at 9pm which-" "We can choose to or to not attend," Seiko finished off with a yawn, Tomo laughed and asked, 'Were are all the restaurants anyways? In the hotel or near it?" Erin was half alseep against the wall of the elevator shifting only slightly when it stopped on the wrong floor. "In the hotel" Emily finished looking tired herself, "if you can try to make the online interview it's a live chat with fans, that's always a good point booster." I looked over at Tomo and knew he was very tired as well, he nodded as in agreement to the interview and didn't want to leave him hanging, just then Seiko spoke up, "I'll join in too, you two take a rest for the day you look terrible," Erin just nodded and the doors opened again we all got out . I felt like a stone was covernig my eye lids pushing them down and I was trying to fight against the weight of it all, so I stopped listening to everything else Emily said and followed behind Tomo, just as we stopped at Erin's room and he went in, she waved her phone in front of me, "I'll call you later, go to sleep now" she pointed at room 304 at the end of the hallway and gave me a room card, I headed my merry way while Tomo and Seiko went back to the elevator with Emily talking about God only knows what, their rooms must be on another floor, or maybe they were preparing for the interview? I slid the card key, opened the door came in and quickly shut it behind me, kicking off my shoes and throwing down my bag on the floor, I just want to bury my face into a cool pillow and pull the maybe herpes infested covers over it and enjoy a few minutes of peace. I made my way past the small chair and other furniture in the dark until I found the bed, and jumped on it, something hard dug into my shoulder and I let out a scream. alerted, I took my phone out to see what alien body might be waiting for me, but it was just a basket of stuff the hotel had left for me to use in my stay, perfumes, and bath stuff, slipper, I tossed it to the floor and put music on my phone to play while I slept, I liked this bit, so I put on some Loversoul and headed into a deeper coma.
They were hazel, the eyes in my dream.
I was running past people, past buildings, and it was raining, I don't understand why since it was sunny out, but I couldn't see the sun either. I ran so fast and so far I forgot why I was running and I hit something against my foot, I stumbled and fell, I hit the grund hard, it was soft grass, I had come to some grassy area, but something else was happening. My chest was going crazy and I was hyperventilazting, something had happened to me and i was upset, so upset I couldn't think straight, I fell to the grass crying in a daze but I went right through it and I was now crying on my bed, soft and cold, familiar to me, this strange thing. I was crying but something else was there as well, I felt a wamrth beside me, I reached out for it curiously, and it pulled me closer, I looked up to the see the source, moonlit skin, and hazel eyes, an expression, that kind only he knew how to give, and he said something, something I can't recall, but I haven't forgotten. What were they??
They seem so close to me, yet so far away.
A song came into my dreams, I couldn't stop it, as soon as my alarm clock woke me I had to write it down.
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