It became normal to miss him now, after the show was over and the boys had had their fun Seiko would grab Saga and she'd dissappear I'd head home a little tipsy from the champagne and Tomo drove me there. Mostly we talked about out unriquitted loves. The traversies and suffications we endured that day and how happy we were for Seiko, my mind was in a stir and tired, the sounds of city swooshing past me as Tomo recounted his short time with Mirranda. "I just act liek an idiot when she's around, saying things I'm not thinking and unable to explain the things that pop into my mind." I laughed as I remembered such an example, I've never seen him so...cute. "You forget yourself in your subconscious need to impress her, because you like her so much," he smiled as he pulled on the steering wheel to turn, soft pop song on the radio made me sway. "How about you? How is going with him?" I looked away and took a deep sigh, "that bad? I thought you were hitting it off last night," "I don't know really, I...want him to notice me, I want him to miss me, you know, I want a sign that...he knows that I am aware of him." "Well he goes to find you doesn't he? I saw him when we were playing kareokee," "But, then he left, I really wanted him to stay, and meet everyone not just know you, but Seiko and Haru and Em." "You want to force him on us? hahaha that's a little--" "Creepy? I know," I started to freak then and feel the wrongness, rapidly I couldn't stop the self loathing. "I just..." Tomo stopped me with a hand on my head and scratches at my scalp playfully. "It's not creepy, it's just...before you are together you shouldn't meet the friends you know, it's like, he wants your apporval before he has to go through us," he shot me a smile, reassuring me, and somehow that made sense, "But, if he's insecure, why does he not mind when i am near his friends?" "Well, are you insecure?" "No,"
"How do you act then?" I can to the realzation then that I had tried to monopolozie his attention and affections all to myself reguardless of who was around, and it crushed me how it took me this long to realize that I may be scring him before he even falls for me. "Tomo?" "Yeah?" "um... what do you think of a girl who tries to monopolize you? From....everyone everytime you're there." He chuckled then and patted the steeringwheel we stopped at a red light, he turne to me and smiled as he said, "Don't tell me you've been hissing away all would be competition?" I was embarrased and buried my face in my knees, the car was moving again and the coldness of the ac was hitting my face making my eyes water. "That's exactly why I'm sure he's lost interest of me," I emerged finding that we were near my apartment comxplex Tomo took the street behind to be incognito. "Charls, it's not creepy when you do it, i know you, it's cute, it says, "you're gonna be mine, and I know you want to, and you will be, so get used to it." Somehow, those words made me feel a little bit more secure now, however, I also think Tomo may just be being kind to me as I am to him, I'm sure Mirranda likes him, I see the signs, she touches his shoulder slightly and looks away, she's pretty but doesnt know it, and when Tomo talk to her, she's so quick to raise her defenses and tries to lower them for him, but she can't help it. She's a little like me, but I'm not pretty, I've gotten used to that. He left me on the steps of the staircase lobby that heads up from the parking lot, I gave him a hug and took my bag, "I'll call you tomorrow about the set list," I clsoe the door and he lowered the window, " I'm thinking we do a cover for Budokkan in a different language, what do you think? Mana? Bela? Mond?" "Hmm...maybe Mond, I'll send you a demo tomorrow and ask the others okay?" "If we can get to Seiko perhaps by the morning haha," "Sleep well Tomo!" He blew me a kiss goodnight and I waved as he drove off into the city, perhaps he'd meet Mirranda later, who knows. My thoughts were filled with Taka as I climbed up the stairs and slid my key card past all the security checks. Taka, Taka, Taka, nothing but Taka in there. I would not have imagined this in a million years, how can I really be me and be so infatuated with this guy. I lay in my bed that night recapping everything from the moment we met, small things he says to me, and the things I say to him, how he accepts them, smiles, and playfully claws at my remarks with his own. He praises me, I praise him, I let him know I'm into him, am I too aggressive? I really want to monopolize him beause I am unsure, I don't want to lose him without having him, but to have him slip through my fingers because of something I can't control would be even more shameful. Last night, that girl was on him, a friend, as we talked before he had to leave, I hissed at her, he laughed and joked if I was a snake, I could only tease him back and be bitter, I told him to get used to be being around when he is when he complained about it, 'learn to love it' he said, 'I already am.' Is that a sign? Or am I thinking way too much into every little thing he says?
Why do these things need to matter? Charls you've gone crazy, so crazy, you really like him don't you? So much you've begun to speak in third person, oh dear. Tomorrow I may see him again, it depends, but I miss him already, and the sunrise will answer me one way or another. Is this more than an infatuation? Could he be it for me? the coldness in my heart may be quenched, but I don't want to speak too soon, I'm not like him, he might not like me that way, but then again, I was wrong before I could be wrong again.
"How do you act then?" I can to the realzation then that I had tried to monopolozie his attention and affections all to myself reguardless of who was around, and it crushed me how it took me this long to realize that I may be scring him before he even falls for me. "Tomo?" "Yeah?" "um... what do you think of a girl who tries to monopolize you? From....everyone everytime you're there." He chuckled then and patted the steeringwheel we stopped at a red light, he turne to me and smiled as he said, "Don't tell me you've been hissing away all would be competition?" I was embarrased and buried my face in my knees, the car was moving again and the coldness of the ac was hitting my face making my eyes water. "That's exactly why I'm sure he's lost interest of me," I emerged finding that we were near my apartment comxplex Tomo took the street behind to be incognito. "Charls, it's not creepy when you do it, i know you, it's cute, it says, "you're gonna be mine, and I know you want to, and you will be, so get used to it." Somehow, those words made me feel a little bit more secure now, however, I also think Tomo may just be being kind to me as I am to him, I'm sure Mirranda likes him, I see the signs, she touches his shoulder slightly and looks away, she's pretty but doesnt know it, and when Tomo talk to her, she's so quick to raise her defenses and tries to lower them for him, but she can't help it. She's a little like me, but I'm not pretty, I've gotten used to that. He left me on the steps of the staircase lobby that heads up from the parking lot, I gave him a hug and took my bag, "I'll call you tomorrow about the set list," I clsoe the door and he lowered the window, " I'm thinking we do a cover for Budokkan in a different language, what do you think? Mana? Bela? Mond?" "Hmm...maybe Mond, I'll send you a demo tomorrow and ask the others okay?" "If we can get to Seiko perhaps by the morning haha," "Sleep well Tomo!" He blew me a kiss goodnight and I waved as he drove off into the city, perhaps he'd meet Mirranda later, who knows. My thoughts were filled with Taka as I climbed up the stairs and slid my key card past all the security checks. Taka, Taka, Taka, nothing but Taka in there. I would not have imagined this in a million years, how can I really be me and be so infatuated with this guy. I lay in my bed that night recapping everything from the moment we met, small things he says to me, and the things I say to him, how he accepts them, smiles, and playfully claws at my remarks with his own. He praises me, I praise him, I let him know I'm into him, am I too aggressive? I really want to monopolize him beause I am unsure, I don't want to lose him without having him, but to have him slip through my fingers because of something I can't control would be even more shameful. Last night, that girl was on him, a friend, as we talked before he had to leave, I hissed at her, he laughed and joked if I was a snake, I could only tease him back and be bitter, I told him to get used to be being around when he is when he complained about it, 'learn to love it' he said, 'I already am.' Is that a sign? Or am I thinking way too much into every little thing he says?
Why do these things need to matter? Charls you've gone crazy, so crazy, you really like him don't you? So much you've begun to speak in third person, oh dear. Tomorrow I may see him again, it depends, but I miss him already, and the sunrise will answer me one way or another. Is this more than an infatuation? Could he be it for me? the coldness in my heart may be quenched, but I don't want to speak too soon, I'm not like him, he might not like me that way, but then again, I was wrong before I could be wrong again.
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