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//Revamped.

I began a music project today, with Masake.
I wondered what he wanted that rainy day.
He begged me to come back to Tokyo and sing for his new album, he needed my voice because that is what this album is about.
Its about me, it cant be complete without me.
"I owe you that much I guess, after Shinjuku."
"After Paris...I know I have no right to ask."
I forgave him for Paris a long time ago, but should I let him know this?
I wondered, and still  here I am in the recording booth singing this song that represent unshacklement.
I love the sound,  and actually, it feels completed with me singing it.
I had been recording a lot trance and electronic songs with Rikku, this was similar to that.

My voice ehcoed behind his, recited a type of mantra as he recited another. a second earlier.
the rhytmn was dance, and the formula magnificent.
It began like that, he wanted me to sit close to him at launch, honestly.
I fell in love with Masake all over again, he was different, confidence as ever, but there was something broken about him that stood out. In a light pause as he sang or played. In a refain when he spoke or walked. I wanted to know about what hurt him, those years with Sayu, maybe,. Our break up was quixk and lead to various scandals, mainly with me as the bad guy, a homewrecker.
Masake leans into me these days, tired, like he used to. Singing words as he spoke, I put my hand on his cheek like I used to. This was no mistake, but the mistake was doing this where everyone could see us.
It was everywhere.
I mean everywhere, and then the calls came in, the messages magazines, everywhere.

"We haven't even started going out, can you leave us alone, thanks!"
His comments were easy and clean, I just refused to comment at all.
I know what I'm feeling because I will always feel it.
There are no safe palces for me in Tokyo, I hate all of it.
"Fun fact," he spoke. "I never sold that house, remember, the one I first took you to."
I remember. "I don't want to go to the place where you lived with Sayuri."
I struck a nerve and I knew it, but I needed to test him.
"I never lived there with her, it's my parents home, the one they left me."
"I don't get it, you took me, why didnt you live there with her?"
He shurgged. "I took you there because it seemed natural, you cried so much, I felt the only way to show you who I was, was to. well show you where I came from."
"Why did you break up with me, really. I hear one version here and another there, and your explination never made much sense to me."
but we had arrived at that house, I recognized it, and somehow, there are no reporters outside.

"I''ll tell you, if you come inside."
I followed him closing the security door, glass steps like they used to be, and those blue curtains.
I felt safe here.
As he returned from setting the alarm system, he embraced me again, his head on my shoulder, my hand no his cheek. "You're my true love Chara, I know that now. So let me give you answers, real ones."

We stayed like that as he told me a story of a girl whom he saved from drowning when he was ten years old, this girl was from a wealthy family, he loved her immidiately, and did so for many years. She never payed much attention to him until he joined a visual kei band at age 15, they started dating, and mailing, and were in love. However, the boy had ambitions of his own, and promised the girl he would be with her, she however, also had ambitions, she debut as an idol and recruited for a girl band, which was sucessful. Masake had gone from band to band and finally broke solo at age 19, he developed a following no one saw coming, and developed his own styles of music, this set his apart and made him a start interantionally. He didn't have time to love the girl but when they met up they always were drawn back to eachother, it was a love that had no boundried or limitations, no definitions. Until, he met me, he was leaving from a meeting at Emi, when he heard my voice, he was obsessed, when he found that voice two years later, he knew it was fate, and he sought to make the girl his. It was like magic, because the girl fell in love with the boy, and he was so happy for a long time, though their relationship was secret, all his friends new who his woman was, and he wanted a family. It was around this time that the other girl came back into his life, she married a mobster, this drove the boy crazy, and he wanted to forget all about her, but even though he had a new love, his heart still hurt. He pressured the siren for marriage, she gave it to him, he pressured the siren to have children, but the siren has complications, this broke his heart. He wanted to bury all feelings for the mobster's wife but it wasnt enough, It was then that they started having an affair, and he was finally sated. When he returned to the siren he needed to bury his guilt but all he could see was his failure, he bagen to take drugs beacuse of his guilt. This lead to many nights of the siren freezing up and not talking to him, it broke his heart all over again. He noticed that the siren would leave him, he didnt want that, but he ended up hurting her, and lost her, it was then that the mobster's wife  got a divorce. The rockstar married the girl he loved sinc childhood, and had three children. The magic however, never returned. He kept hoping it would, but it was not giong to arrive.
The boy realized this when he was the siren, laughing in a picture in a magazine, out in the open with a friend of his, Saturn.
He saw the magic. He wanted the magic back, but she was beyond his reach then.
Years went by, he remained loving the siren, but she was gone from his world forever, Sayu had begun having an affair with a record exceutive that would take over Nippon Recordings, he gave her a divorce, and saw that all she had were ambitions, he was just part of those amibitons.
Years went by and saturn disappeared, a black hole ate him up, but the Siren was lost to the world as well, he wanted her back but no matter hwo he tried the siren swam away into deep water where he couldnt follow.
He's been waiting to when the siren is closer to him, those chances are rare, but here," he's caught the sire. What is she going to do?'"

I breathed in, recaling the circumstances that lead me to be in this house the first time.
But, I knew it already.
"She's going turn around," and i did
lokk into your eyes, and put a spell on you.
"You're going to forget all aobut me, how i look, what i say, how i smell, all of it.
and then you are going to go home, and love your adaughters, and raise them not to fall for guyhs like oyou. You take a world destroy it and promise it will be better?
I can't trust you, No....I can't trust you."

No, you can't.

He let me go, but i didnt run away. not yet.
 "Why do you love me Masa? That's what I really want to know."
he smiled, and without hesitation, "You're my magic, all the magic in this world...its you."
There came a message on my phone just then, "work?" I nodded
"Hey its Benny, your new photographer, i wanted to meet with you tonight if its possible so I can arrange for the right lense and scenery for tomorrow, are you free around 7?"
Right, Seiko told me about him. "I have to go, but...I'll think about this, everything you said. I need time, is that ok?"
"There's hope in that, so yes...I'll be waiting."



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