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//"Just give me something to get rid of him"

Love is always beautiful.
Isn't that what I once believed in?

I don't understand, the kicking inside of me is different now, maybe my crying earlier upset my princess, but I don't believe how I've been thrown away. That night i didn't go back to the apartment, but I went to the apartment in yokohama, I called Michio, but he didn't answer, these days its very typical. Haruka kept calling me, but I didn't want to answer, I knew if I did I'd explode on him at the slightest provocation, because unfortunately that's just how fragile I've learned I am. I held up the paper that confirmed I was pregnant on the kitchen island, the house smelled like rice flowers, just like he did. Remembering to eat I ordered food from a local ramen shop I knew delivered and gave them the address with a large order, I figured two bowls and side dishes would be enough, I remember when I was with the twins, I didn't eat enough and Seiko threw a bitch fit, when she was with her precious goddess there was nothing Seiko wouldn't eat and constantly, I'm surprised that Ama came out so healthy, and so small. I don't remember clearly how the twins were born, they gave me too much sedative because of the Cesarian, I was knocked out, and when I woke from my dreaming of blood and sharp metals. They were small too, and wrapped in blue blankets and soft blue hats, I asked one of the nurses to wrap Zetsubou in a green blanket so I could tell them apart, but surely, she said, you will be able to tell them apart in a little bit. I did, eventually, I noticed that Adagio had Haruka's beauty mark on his hand, Zetsubou's eyes were also brighter than Adagio's more yellow in them, exactly like Haruka's eyes, Adagio's were more green, but I don't want to reminence, because this thing inside of me, I'm afraid for it, if Haruka is...with someone else, what does that mean?

It was dark when the knocking on the door woke me up, scattered containers over the coffee table, I fell asleep on the couch thinking abut Haruka leaving me for that damn starlet. I got up and checked on the monitor to see who it was. I wasn't surprised though, when I saw Haruka standing there mouthing "let me in", he seemed a little annoyed. I pressed the intercom ,"go home, I don't wanna see you today," He didn't go anywhere though, "It's 10pm, don't you mean tonight?" ughh "shut up, and go home," That kind of ticked me off and I walked away from the monitor, he banged on the door then. "Wiat a minute, why are you so mad?" I didn't answer. "I will continue shouting in the hallway and everyone will know we live here, is that what you want? You know I have the pipes, what's it gonna be?" That broke my resolve, I opened the slid the door open, and before I could say anything Haruka grabbed me and slid the door behind him, it was so sudden that I lost my balance and we fell on the floor, it took all my concentration then to push him away so that he didn't fall on top of me, and he complained about it. "Why'd you do that?" He must've hit his head on the wall since he rubbed it and grimaced, but I was clutching at my stomach and he became concerned, "Oh, did i hurt you?" i tried to get up but he did hurt me, my leg was sprained. He came over to me, "Chara?" his gaze was on me, and I couldn't stop it, I began to cry and it didn't stop. He picked me up and carried me to the room where the light was on, and palced me on the bed, the linen was clean but a little dusty, he shook it off but I still cried.

[[ A few weeks before the earthquake, Haruka was helping an American Pop star with a new album, writting songs for her and stuff, she was pretty famous, but then he started having feelings for her, since Chara's been doing a lot of charity work in L.A. she's had the twins there right, with her mom and saying at their apartment they have there.
Well he had an affair with Amber (the pop star) and Chara found out, but she's also pregnant, when she gets back tot Tokyo she talks to Seiko about this, she finds out she's pregnant and suspects that Haruka is cheating on her.
Her illusions of him are surplanted and she avoids him compeletely. He admits to her that he's felt a distance between them growing, and that no matter how hard he tried she didn't try like he did but that he isn't having an affair. Chara however see's it another way, instead of trying to help her with the gap he widened it by never reaching out to her and he must be lying, he tries to convince her but she just recalls how easily Masake decieved her till the end, there was no doubt in her mind until she saw it with her own eyes. Chara wants to leave him then, and begins to take things out of her closet and pack them up, but Haruka  stops her telling her that she's wrong, that even though things have been rough between them she is still everything to him, and wants to stay with her, this however breaks a chord in her. "Did you think I'd be stupid enough to go through this again?" she spits at him he's overcome with a frsutration and sadness he's only felt once before, when she wouldn't listen to him about not giving Masake another chance, but now it's him. While leaving their house Chara is hit by a car, she looses the baby, and Haruka finds out through a phone call he didn't follow Chara because he was upset and comes to regret it, when he gets to the hospital he finds out that she lost their baby, she was 2 months.  Regret overcomes him and he begs Chara to take him back that he never slept with anyone else,  in the hospital she's in a coma for a few days,  during this time he spends it all beside her cancelling everything he's working on including completing Amber's album, he talks to Chara telling her that he's never had anyone else, even when he was with other girls and she was in L.A. or with Masake it was always her in his heart on his mine, in front of his eyes. During this time the doctors and lawyers freak out in case she's never going to wake up as they aren't sure how long it will be, (this is where he gets the idea of writting his will because the doctors told him they didn't have a policy and it was up to him if she remained in a coma for longer than a month, so he writes a will about three motnhs before the earthquake) When Chara wakes up she's hurt that her princess is gone, and Haruka stays with her, but she is hurt and is afraid to forgive him, she tells him this. Haruka however, convinces her or his sincerity, "I never made any promises to you did I? I only ever asked you to trust in me, to believe in me, you are my love, if you don't trust my heart that's only ever beaten like a thing possessed for you, it would shatter everything in me to the very core," Chara holds his hand and tells him not to speak for a few minutes as she's making up her mind, really trusting her her, "You're only mine then?" she asks a few minutes later, by this time Haruka was really sad to the point of having a few tears escape his eyes because he thought she was going to end it, but her words are soft and he replies, "Always,"    the kids fishing at Kyuushu with Rikki their friend, this is where the earthquake happens. Leaving Chara regretting, not making up with Haruka, looking for him int eh gravel, not caring about his affair, as long as he was with her. But realizing it too late, she goes crazy gradually until it peaks when he is declared officially dead after a year and a half of not finding his body. Years later, she meets Amber again at an event for Layla, and she learns that she's got a son, in that son is the exact shape and color of Haruka's eyes, when confronted Amber admits that she was in love with him, and he must've felt bad for her, but that he could see how much he loved Chara, and she didn't have a right to let her know about Ryu, her son.
When Haruka wakes up and learns about Ryu, he is overwhlemed, and sad, because he never knew about him, when he finds out about Layla, he tells Chara that he's glad he's got her, because it was his fault she los "Princess" (when Chara found out she called her Hime, or Princess convinced it was a girl) but when Chara tells hinm that she was terrible to Layla, conflicting feelings occur, in which they tell eachother about how strange human beings they are.

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