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// Chapter 37 excerpt. [The rooster tells a sad tale]

It’s been a long time since I’ve left the house in Hokkaido.
Hidden away from everything, behind these trees, so close to the sea, close to the lights.
I think about you everyday, and sleep has been taken from me.
How can I?
Mr. Lou has a chicken coup two houses down, but I can hear the rooster's crow, but it sounds like screaming.
He’s been screaming all night, every night, it frightens me.
How can I sleep when my thoughts linger and they cross.
This could be Haruka’s voice, that scream before he died that terrible death.
I’ll always regret the time I spent with Shou, because I could have been with you, maybe then it wouldn't have happened? Maybe then my husband would not have died.
“And be sure to take the kids to my parents house! And call Takuro when you get there, he wants to treat you.” I carried his bag for him to the gate as I often did, Bou & Adagio busting in through the door behind, kissing my cheek, waving goodbye, the last words I heard from Adagio was ‘mom, I’ll miss you, be good.’ His voice was always softer than Zestubou’s. I wonder how he would sound like if I could hear him today.
The things in this house, they haunt me. I turn to the corner near the mirror on the second floor: I see you. I drink myself to sleep in the closet in our room: I see you. A glimpse into the garden, I see you. I see you. I see you.
Why does that rooster cry so much?
If he afraid? Is that nightmare of his coming to a reality each dawn, each day of his life?
As the rays creep from behind the sea, behing the buildings, that bright illumination devour the dark canvas above. His midnight realm is coming to an end; he screams for it to stop but it doesn’t stop. It will never stop. As the sky becomes brighter, more golden that’s when the screaming gets louder, and it pierces through my ears. Screaming, screaming, screaming. Then it stops.
The battle has exhausted him, defeated him, but the war is never ending and the nightmare will never end.

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