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//"Hey Haru,"

Do you remember the Sea?
Not just any shore, do you remember the sea in that place, the place where we came from?
The place we will go back to after our time here is done?
How about that lake? Do you remember that?
I couldn't forget, even though I've been trying to all these years.
What have you been doing? I wonder.
Did you ever jump off that mountain like we said we'd do when we were tired of living?
or perhaps would you wander the streets of Los Angeles, searching for that house in your
fading memory?
You must be doing something, even though I spend more time at your grave as each year goes by,I can't help but think you must also be doing things while I'm not there.
What will you do when it's my birthday? Will you play the guitar and sing to me my favorite song?
Did you write another one for me? About me? I wonder.
When I return to that sea, I feel as though I've entered another world, that world of yours.
Sometimes there's fans outside the gates that lead to your grave, mroe than once they've seen me go through those gates. The looks in their faces, it ranged from jealousy to empathy, sometimes longing. When I come across that look, of longing, I'm reminded of you; sometimes when I can't stand it, I let them in.
Emily tells me not to do such a thing, but it's fine, I always tell them in advance because they are fans that it is another world, to not anything to make you unhappy, after all, this is your world, and mine.

They usually go to have a drink with you, into the fountain that Saga had made, they pour the liquor. Saga wanted it specially for this, because he said 'even if he got drunk rarely Haru really liked the taste of champagne, he's never even had champagne before Chara's birthday." I know the reason for this, a very silly reason but its our secret , it was always in moderation.

Saga never asked me what it was, he was a kind and considerate person to know, that whatever happened, was best shared with the two of us.
The night I turned 19 Haruka kissed me.
My first real kiss.
His first real kiss.
The innocence of those days, I want it back, I want to fill a basin up with it, and soak myself in those precious memories we share. The choking feel begins again as I recall the days when I could easily breathe, knowing you took care of the fears inside my mind, I thought I would never die, nothing would ever touch me. The world you made for me cracked when you left, and I'm sorry, I don't want to leave it.

Haru, are you still there?
Do you wanna know what Adagio says about you? What about Zestubou, do you worry about him too? He's been so curious about you as of late, yes, he took all my old diaries and your score sheets, he's obssessed with wanting to meet you now that he is on the cover of the same magazines you were. More than his brother, he looks much more like you; same concerned look, same laughter, the way he reacts when he doesn't like something. It is one of those mysterious things I don't want an answer to. It all reminds me of you, and what comes are not pleasant thoughts. So I run away from them whenver I can, but of course they find me.
Don't worry, I'll come back to you, even if I regret it later, that's another thing I know will be constant.

"Are you still awake, Haruka?"
I want to hear the lullaby again, even now, I still can't sleep unless you sing it for me.

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