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// A deep black hole.

If I had to answer right now, what Masake is like as a person. If I had to describe his character, his manner of living. I would have to say, it's like a black hole.
You can't see where it begins or ends, it swallows all the light around it, all the energy looking glorious, but its just an illusion, part that chaotic light there is a never-ending darkness that swallows everything up.
I wanted to tell him that it's time to separate, but I couldn't.
The minute he came through the door with a sudden heart melting atmosphere, he took me in his arms and began it. "Ii love you, Chara, my Chara, I love you." "I love you too, but why so suddenly?"
he chuckled, "Aren't I allowed to say it openly, any time?"
"Ii guess so, but it's...rare these days, you know..."
he kissed me before my thought ended. "I love you Chara,"
I want to stop him but I can't, he knows something about y body, how to hold me, the exact amount of pressure, the timing. And I know that silently we're talking, it's this silence that I love.
We make love on the sofa, the way he likes it, the way I like it, passionately he calls my name and recounts how much he loves me, my name, my name my name.
I am bare in the moonlight, and he's having a cigarette on the ledge. These summer nights are killers, and the moon's too bright. I want to tell him now. How I feel, about the rumors, about ...Haruka.
I might be going to hell, but as I put my oversized shirt on over my bare body he notices and comes over to me flicking his cigarette on the concrete patio and lcosing the door behind him.
"You okay? You sort of fainted towards the end there,"
"I didn't realize, yeah I'm fine."
"Chara, you want to tell me something don't you?"
is it that obvious? "I..."
"Don't tell me, please."
"I...have to, Maske we--"
"I don't want to hear this." he walks back over to the patio but I get up and pull his arm towards me.
"Please, just listen to me, can't you just..?"
"I want to marry you Chara, and I want to give you my name, I want us to have children, I want to take you to my hometown, show you off in interviews and cameras, don't you want that?"
the words were sudden but I understood only one part exactly. "You want to marry me?"
that smile formed on his face, the one....that melts me, "I want everything with you, whatever you want, whatever may come, will you marry me?"
Those words eclipsed my mind, my heart beckoned it, "I will."
There is frailty in the way life works, sometimes, it throws doubt at you as hot a coal poker, sometimes it doesn't. This time I defied gravity, that which had pulled me to Saturn, is now drawing me into that deep black hole, if I try to escape it now...I will only be destroyed.
God, help me.



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