It was nearing the summer, at te end of august would be the anniversary of when I first met Chara...well, unofficially, I wonder if she knows that, I'm right here on the sand again, Venice, the utter beating of my pulse can be resonated in the distant drumming further down the sandbar, and I had a decision to make.
I got the letter from LCU, I'm one of the 40 students chosen to continue my studies under a special teaching program, I'd be learning directly while applying myself to the field of quantum mechanics, developing, the thesis on developing a thin film from cabornated strip mixed with various chemicals, it is a start to using dark matter, to swallow the light matter. This thesis was too good, even my mother praised me for it, but this oportunity is....a bit a curse rather than a blessing.
For the first time in my short life I know what it's like to really be in love with someone, the rushing of my heart beat when she's near me, when she's benathe me, and calls my name, I swear I think my stupid heart might explode at any moment. I clutch my heart just recalling the emotions that flow inside of me, and the name written all over my lips, all over these arms, all over me.
I don't want to leave her, I have this feeling that's haunting me, almost as if, I've met her by chance three times before I decided I wanted her in my life forever. If I were to leave, I have a feelings that I will not see her again, something's talking to me, and I know how it sounds, and I would say the same thing, "throwing your life away for a woman? How pathetic!" I sigh at the thought of my parents comments, I know...they wouldn't like Chara, not only because she's younger, but because she's living with me. Yet, I don't regret any of it, meeting Chara bruised and bleeding, later learning it came from borken ribs and punctured lungs, internal bleeding might have killed her if I didn't notice it. No...I take the letter from inside my jacket, my old one, so technically Chara's Jacket now, I want to tear this piece of paper, but.... I look out to the sea, it's pretty when its getting dark like now, the distance between me and the lights of the city shinning, reflecting off the water's caresses against the shore. These smooth sounds relax me and my mind becomes clearer, stars...and I take the piece of paper and bury it beneath a handful of sand. I miss my Chara, just a few hours...I can't imagine, my music, my beauty, my brain. Which one of these will be my end?
I get into the city late because of the traffic, I decide to pick up Chara from work so I send her a message, I'm already a few blocks away when she messages me back. "Ok, I'll be waiting outside then since I closed up already," Damn, I don't want her waiting outside in the cold. It was about 10 minutes until I reached her workplace, but she was right out front, arms over herself and shivering slightly but her jacket was lightweight and cold handle most of the col d Los Angeles air. “You took your sweet time,” she laughed and came to get into th passenger side. it's cold tonight,” I muttered, and greeted her, “Sorry, traffic gets stupid around this time I forgot.” I felt the beating of my heart soften, almost like Ive been wrapped up into a fluffy blanket or I felt kitten’s fur, or things are finally things that make me feel happy. “It’s okay, I’m not even mad I just like being dramatic” we shared a laugh and I ruffled her hair, I pulled her into a hug with my right arm as we drov off back over the bridge and into the highway cutting through the city.
I got the letter from LCU, I'm one of the 40 students chosen to continue my studies under a special teaching program, I'd be learning directly while applying myself to the field of quantum mechanics, developing, the thesis on developing a thin film from cabornated strip mixed with various chemicals, it is a start to using dark matter, to swallow the light matter. This thesis was too good, even my mother praised me for it, but this oportunity is....a bit a curse rather than a blessing.
For the first time in my short life I know what it's like to really be in love with someone, the rushing of my heart beat when she's near me, when she's benathe me, and calls my name, I swear I think my stupid heart might explode at any moment. I clutch my heart just recalling the emotions that flow inside of me, and the name written all over my lips, all over these arms, all over me.
I don't want to leave her, I have this feeling that's haunting me, almost as if, I've met her by chance three times before I decided I wanted her in my life forever. If I were to leave, I have a feelings that I will not see her again, something's talking to me, and I know how it sounds, and I would say the same thing, "throwing your life away for a woman? How pathetic!" I sigh at the thought of my parents comments, I know...they wouldn't like Chara, not only because she's younger, but because she's living with me. Yet, I don't regret any of it, meeting Chara bruised and bleeding, later learning it came from borken ribs and punctured lungs, internal bleeding might have killed her if I didn't notice it. No...I take the letter from inside my jacket, my old one, so technically Chara's Jacket now, I want to tear this piece of paper, but.... I look out to the sea, it's pretty when its getting dark like now, the distance between me and the lights of the city shinning, reflecting off the water's caresses against the shore. These smooth sounds relax me and my mind becomes clearer, stars...and I take the piece of paper and bury it beneath a handful of sand. I miss my Chara, just a few hours...I can't imagine, my music, my beauty, my brain. Which one of these will be my end?
I get into the city late because of the traffic, I decide to pick up Chara from work so I send her a message, I'm already a few blocks away when she messages me back. "Ok, I'll be waiting outside then since I closed up already," Damn, I don't want her waiting outside in the cold. It was about 10 minutes until I reached her workplace, but she was right out front, arms over herself and shivering slightly but her jacket was lightweight and cold handle most of the col d Los Angeles air. “You took your sweet time,” she laughed and came to get into th passenger side. it's cold tonight,” I muttered, and greeted her, “Sorry, traffic gets stupid around this time I forgot.” I felt the beating of my heart soften, almost like Ive been wrapped up into a fluffy blanket or I felt kitten’s fur, or things are finally things that make me feel happy. “It’s okay, I’m not even mad I just like being dramatic” we shared a laugh and I ruffled her hair, I pulled her into a hug with my right arm as we drov off back over the bridge and into the highway cutting through the city.
I felt ashamed, that I could have thrown this away just because I feel the pressure for a college education, I do want to continue it, but I know how fast you can lose someone, and I didnt want that to happen with her. She talked to me about her day, how the iced coffee she got next door was too cold and too sweet to how she finished her days school work in just under three hours, and how she was excited over getting pizza tonight because its usually expensive to deliver, but we’re walking to the new place across the street now that its opened. I was excited about that too, truth be told, I wanted to tell her about the news I got earlier, about the conversations I’ve had with my family and friends over it, how I wanted to stay with her here in LA, with the band
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