It was unreal, still, it is real.
Soft skin, a little chaffed from the winter air, but its real, not an illusion or dellusion caused by too many lithium pills or anti-histamines, this was real, I can feel it ; skin on my skin, real.
I want to wake him, and ask so many things, these past 22 years...."where have you been?" I whisper to him, "Where did time take you from me to?" I snuggled against him, but no matter how I didnt want to fight the tears, another battle I know I will lose, and in Haruka I buried all my sentiments for the world that broke from greys and loneliness, because my sun is here... my only sun, my Saturn....come back from the valley of the shadows of death, and here now beside me, wrapped up in sheets of some typical fiber I care not to name, only that everything has his name written on it. I know that this must be some kind of dream a lucid dream, yes! I don’t care if it’s all in my head, my heart can begin to repair itself. I don’t want to pretend that this could be real, but let me stay here, here I am beside the only love of my life and I can't bring myself to fully grasp what this means, or what it will mean for anyone else, the fans, his family,.....who else knew?
Who else had this ray of shunshine hidden away from me?
I climb out of bed but still in Haruka's sight, never keeping my gaze off him, I pick up my phone and text Shou, because if anyone would know about this....I had a gut feeling it would be him. I watched these two cut her palms and mix their blood when I was 27 over always making sure the last beer would be shared, however trivial or idiotic that might be to anyone else, I know that these two understood the meaning o the word friend and they thought of each other first when it would come into their mind.
I slid the glass door to the veranda, still looking over at Haruka I leaned against it, my hair tussling in the wind, I clutched onto my jacket as I waited for the persistent chiming to some to a halt, and finally the croaking voice of a person sleeping not too long ago, and those half opened eyes found me where I stood, he turned his body to face me, a scar over his left cheek and eye that he didn’t have the last time I saw him, I began to wonder just what happened to him an the worst scenarios entered my thoughts running wild, he makes his way up and out of the bed and over to me as he says cooly “Chara,"
I begin to cry immidiately all over again, "He's returned to me....from the sea...on the sand, Shou, he's returned to me alive." There was a silence as I fought the sobs, vainly, and then he took a deep sigh, and began to tell me a tale that was so incredulous I had never taken my teary gaze from the planet on my bed.
Shou told me that Haruka was found immidiately, but as there was so much confusion it was difficult to place him in a proper hospital, he was bleeding severly from the head and they thought he'd died, miraculously he survived after surgery, but his brain had atrophied and he fell into a coma shortly after, and he was flown to a hospital in Taiwan due to the overwhelming of the hospital’s back in our city. There he was observed and when someone contacted the company about finding him immediately lawyers showed up and assess the situation, he was comatose, but alive and healthy. It was then that I remembered a year prior to the accident we signed our wills, he kepts his hidden from me and now I knew why. Shou continued telling me that Haruka's will stated that if he should ever become comatose that I should never know about it, there should be a sham funeral and the presumption that he was dead, he didnt want us wasting our lives vailing, specially me, he wanted me to find love again, and not worry about his living corpse, it broke his heart but he loved me more than he loved himself. There was something else I was not aware of...where Shou went those two months...he admitted to me finally where he was. "Haruka...he put me in charge of his life, all of it, it was up to me to decide whether or not to pull his life support, he spent that time soul searching and coming to terms with a letter Haruka had left him, about how he knew his feelings for me, and that if I fell for Shou we should get married and be a happy family, that would honor his memory most. Shou however, could never bring himself to pull the plug and had been visiting him these past 12 years, behind my back....all those trips...beside me, and i never knew. It was the reason he moved me to Los Angeles so that I would not become suspecious,and so that I would move on, but he kept returning to that hospital, however, Haruka woke up about a year ago. He had been recovering learning to walk again, and in his mind he was still 26 years old, he had wanted to see me, but he wanted to be proper when he saw me again, he wanted to stay dead more than anything, he didnt want anyone knowing this crazy story, but he knew that it meant everyone would know once he came to me, because he would not hide any longer. It’s been quite the shock, really, not just my body changed, my face is different and the world changed so much, I supposed you can say that I needed adjusting to the world around me first, I was overwhelmed not only by the technology but also by what happened to my memory, and how their was even conspiracy theories on this exact situation and how fans were right, he would return. “It’s really insane when you think about it, I had bet everything on trusting my family, the whole time I spent laying down, I don’t remember any of it, but I feel like you were there with me when I woke up, like I could hear your voice, ‘Saturn’, whispering in my ear like you used to do.” I haven’t been able to tear myself away from him since he got up, we stood there embracing each other on the balcony was I talked to Shou, when I hung up he said he’d come home as soon as he finished working out some details on Haruka recovery plan, and there it was, his love for Haruka as his brother proceeded his love he has over me, maybe this whole time, he was only looking out for Haruka, for looking out for me.
Soft skin, a little chaffed from the winter air, but its real, not an illusion or dellusion caused by too many lithium pills or anti-histamines, this was real, I can feel it ; skin on my skin, real.
I want to wake him, and ask so many things, these past 22 years...."where have you been?" I whisper to him, "Where did time take you from me to?" I snuggled against him, but no matter how I didnt want to fight the tears, another battle I know I will lose, and in Haruka I buried all my sentiments for the world that broke from greys and loneliness, because my sun is here... my only sun, my Saturn....come back from the valley of the shadows of death, and here now beside me, wrapped up in sheets of some typical fiber I care not to name, only that everything has his name written on it. I know that this must be some kind of dream a lucid dream, yes! I don’t care if it’s all in my head, my heart can begin to repair itself. I don’t want to pretend that this could be real, but let me stay here, here I am beside the only love of my life and I can't bring myself to fully grasp what this means, or what it will mean for anyone else, the fans, his family,.....who else knew?
Who else had this ray of shunshine hidden away from me?
I climb out of bed but still in Haruka's sight, never keeping my gaze off him, I pick up my phone and text Shou, because if anyone would know about this....I had a gut feeling it would be him. I watched these two cut her palms and mix their blood when I was 27 over always making sure the last beer would be shared, however trivial or idiotic that might be to anyone else, I know that these two understood the meaning o the word friend and they thought of each other first when it would come into their mind.
I slid the glass door to the veranda, still looking over at Haruka I leaned against it, my hair tussling in the wind, I clutched onto my jacket as I waited for the persistent chiming to some to a halt, and finally the croaking voice of a person sleeping not too long ago, and those half opened eyes found me where I stood, he turned his body to face me, a scar over his left cheek and eye that he didn’t have the last time I saw him, I began to wonder just what happened to him an the worst scenarios entered my thoughts running wild, he makes his way up and out of the bed and over to me as he says cooly “Chara,"
I begin to cry immidiately all over again, "He's returned to me....from the sea...on the sand, Shou, he's returned to me alive." There was a silence as I fought the sobs, vainly, and then he took a deep sigh, and began to tell me a tale that was so incredulous I had never taken my teary gaze from the planet on my bed.
Shou told me that Haruka was found immidiately, but as there was so much confusion it was difficult to place him in a proper hospital, he was bleeding severly from the head and they thought he'd died, miraculously he survived after surgery, but his brain had atrophied and he fell into a coma shortly after, and he was flown to a hospital in Taiwan due to the overwhelming of the hospital’s back in our city. There he was observed and when someone contacted the company about finding him immediately lawyers showed up and assess the situation, he was comatose, but alive and healthy. It was then that I remembered a year prior to the accident we signed our wills, he kepts his hidden from me and now I knew why. Shou continued telling me that Haruka's will stated that if he should ever become comatose that I should never know about it, there should be a sham funeral and the presumption that he was dead, he didnt want us wasting our lives vailing, specially me, he wanted me to find love again, and not worry about his living corpse, it broke his heart but he loved me more than he loved himself. There was something else I was not aware of...where Shou went those two months...he admitted to me finally where he was. "Haruka...he put me in charge of his life, all of it, it was up to me to decide whether or not to pull his life support, he spent that time soul searching and coming to terms with a letter Haruka had left him, about how he knew his feelings for me, and that if I fell for Shou we should get married and be a happy family, that would honor his memory most. Shou however, could never bring himself to pull the plug and had been visiting him these past 12 years, behind my back....all those trips...beside me, and i never knew. It was the reason he moved me to Los Angeles so that I would not become suspecious,and so that I would move on, but he kept returning to that hospital, however, Haruka woke up about a year ago. He had been recovering learning to walk again, and in his mind he was still 26 years old, he had wanted to see me, but he wanted to be proper when he saw me again, he wanted to stay dead more than anything, he didnt want anyone knowing this crazy story, but he knew that it meant everyone would know once he came to me, because he would not hide any longer. It’s been quite the shock, really, not just my body changed, my face is different and the world changed so much, I supposed you can say that I needed adjusting to the world around me first, I was overwhelmed not only by the technology but also by what happened to my memory, and how their was even conspiracy theories on this exact situation and how fans were right, he would return. “It’s really insane when you think about it, I had bet everything on trusting my family, the whole time I spent laying down, I don’t remember any of it, but I feel like you were there with me when I woke up, like I could hear your voice, ‘Saturn’, whispering in my ear like you used to do.” I haven’t been able to tear myself away from him since he got up, we stood there embracing each other on the balcony was I talked to Shou, when I hung up he said he’d come home as soon as he finished working out some details on Haruka recovery plan, and there it was, his love for Haruka as his brother proceeded his love he has over me, maybe this whole time, he was only looking out for Haruka, for looking out for me.
I wanted to know everything in detail, once we finished talking, I recognized small things Haruka would do, he’s doing it now, the curious way in which he brushed his hair behind his ears, his head shaking as sounds, and the way he breathes out before he talks, all small little quirks I missed of his when he was presumed dead; here they were, before me again, my heart began to ache, I was sure that I would die of happiness.
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