//Through the cut glass

Saturday as usual, beat form the whole week, and Chara-chan is working hard to cook some frozen dumplings she bought in the grocery story near the station. It's kind of cute really, seeing her trying to figure it out, I offered to help but she's so stubborn. "I can write an album in a week, I can do this!" so she put them in a pot and set them to boil, an hour later they melted down with just the tops cooked all the way through. She threw a fit and put them in the rice cooker's steam option, and they completely melted down and were noting but puddles of flour and pork rolls. So finally tried to put them in the microwave, but they stuck to the paper towels she wrapped them in. "I don't understand these stupid things," I picked up the wrapper but it had no instructions, "What about frying them?" I suggested? she perked up and gave it a try, a few minutes later the oil and the water in the flour bombarded the kitchen with sparks so we gave up and just ate the cooked tops and the rolled up pork meat as she sighed and burned her tongue. "Why are these stupid things so hard to cook? I just...I just wanted some pork buns," She looked so sad over such a petty thing, but Chara's like that so I lean over the kitchen counter next to her and give her a nudge with my nose with a kiss. "I asked if you wanted me to help," she sniffled a bit and asked me confusedly, "You know how to cook them?" I nodded, she became at once agigated and bite my face, "ahhh, I told you no more biting!" she hissed, "why didn't you tell me what to do then instead of watching frozen cuisine gone terribly array!?" I couldnt help but chuckle, "well you told me not to help you, and I admit-" "You enjoyed watching me suffer?" I nodded, but she sighed and shook her head, but she wasn't annoyed anymore, rather amused, which is never a good thing. "Oh no," but she batted her eyes, "Oh, you know, first tell me what I didn't do," I tried to tread carefully now,  I knew the petty concern I had, but I wanted to make sure before I acted, "Well... you need a bamboo steamer, you see....with liners...and....we don't have one, so I thought I'd...watch...what you ...came up..with." I tried my best to pout over this but grim look told me I was dangerously in trouble of not even sleeping on the same bed as her tonight, I need to beg forgiveness right away. However, Chara just stared at me and then finally she left. I was a bit taken a back but I was a little afraid to follow her, I waited for her to come back then she did, with a bamboo steamer in a bag with more packets of frozen pork buns, but she seemed a bit more cheerful than before. "Let's try again!" this time she googled instructions and about an hour later we were eating them fully cooked by hand watching real life murder show she likes. I was beginning to phase out but I wanted to know something. "Why are you so freakin strange?" my tone was soft, because i honestly was wondering this, she perked her head my way and smiled strangely furrowing her brow a bit. "Why are you?"
"I think it's because I'm so far away from you, you know, a collision between us, would be rather unfair, specially to everything in our way," but I could tell she had lost my meaning because being so strange I hadn't explained it, she shook her head, "Because you're Saturn, right? and I'm Mars?" I gave her a kiss on the lips and nodded, pressing my nose against hers she grabbed my half eaten bun from my hand and tossed it on the coffee table along with hers I took it as a cue to push her down, "Mars," I called out, she grinned and pulled me into her, "Saturn," she whispered, "Let's test our luck then, come one, collide with me," I pressed my nose against hers , "bring it on then," I whispered back to her mischeviously. I liked nights like these, making love in the living space without reservations, ignoring calls and texts until we've had our fill of eachother, though Chara was never a sexual person, she's very honest when we're intimate and wont deny me any pleasure, I suppose that's what you call love, but recently I've noticed that she's taken a liking to sodomy more than traditional sex, I think it has to do with her miscarrage so like before, we do it this way because it hurts her heart less, and honestly I don't think we're ready for children, not after last time so when we do it that way, we're both happier to become closer.
I feel her next to me as I wake up, still wrapped in my arms, still breathing a cool air on my skin, I must have mistaken it for the morning chill, but Chara's face brightens my day more than the sunniest of skies. I wonder again, as I often do since wondering seems to be my way to deal, and I come to understand more things about Charlotte. Where she looks when she's confused, what makes her stubborn, what hurts her, and where, and what she wont say she likes but when she finds that she likes it, she'll give me a hint, and sometimes I don't even need one. These trivial things, are what make her up, and when she sings, I can hear all of them at once. I pull her in closer to me, she doesn't even stir, and I wonder when if ever, I'll tell her about that day on the beach? I've always known that it was you, because of those eyes, because of those scars, because of the way you sleep now, and I'll always associate you with hope, and with life, the very scent of it, and of blood. Always blood. I think back to Sheila and how she's gone from us, and I think of how it killed me, and killed you over. I want you to love me even more, no matter how selfish that makes me, and I want to protect you even more, because I want to monopolize you. Soon the spring will be over and when summer comes we'll be separated again, I want your contract to end, and I want my producing contract to end so that we can start our dream, and not have to answer to anyone when all I want is to keep on holding you like this. If that's wrong, I believe my dear my moral compass will never again point north, nor anywhere else but towards you.