HOWEVER
written & composed by: TAKURO
Here in this place where the soft wind blows...
right now, the two of us slowly begin to walk
Thousands of times we've met on this earth and parted the same amount of times in our lives
There are those who are merely passing through on the same place
without knowing what's in eachother's hearts
And even though time's closing by so much that I loose sight of my dreams beyond my reach
In a town where everything seemed foreign to me
You give me strength to run through darkness
What I named love is spilled all over time, I named it after you my "eternity"
I couldn't convey to you, anyhow, using only words
But now, I understand what affection means
I want to make you happy... the future in your heart
I couldn't figure out when love began.
instead that summer afternoon I turned my back on you
But now, I that know that was a sin of childish days, idle and wavering
However, even though I'm so far away from you, I can still feel you in me
If I come back, I'll a life a with you
at long last, finally, I can be with you
I can't move one surrounded by people holding onto loneliness
Searching for the place they can finally rest their heart
"It's been to long to meet now, hasn't it?"
Were the words I used as the tears rained down that night
In this tortuous path we took
that's now become a piece of our lives
Now, I'm telling you, the you I've hurt so much "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE"
What I named love is spilled all over time, I named it after you my "eternity"
I couldn't convey to you, anyhow, using only words
But now, I understand what affection means
That feeling in my chest when I fell in love
on those mild weekend days
Your voice remained echoing childishly
A glimpse of you is what stopped my heart
Holding onto everything that has to do with you
I slowly begin to walk here at this place, where the soft wind blows…
This song was one that defined my life was playing in my head over and over again. It was written by a man I look to as a father, when I look at his profile now, on this plane heading back to my dying husband...those words come to life, and I want to take that song and live in it, because it talks of a love that was promised on a summer weekend, those days were those of a young person, holding hands and letting go because of the shift of time a gust of wind and then looking back to the eyes to the memory of what love was when you realized it, your heart stops and beats more rapidly because it's identified what it wants, what it needs, because it's love, and this feeling more than any other affects the main operating chip of a person's body, the heart. What is more important than your heart, and the place where you leave it? Mine is about to leave, mine is about to fade, my place, my...distant place that I thought impossible just a few years ago is descending, will I get there in time? Or will I be that person in that song, looking back at a love that was doomed from the beginning but longing for it so badly you want to take it and run away from the world itself, from the tangibility of this realm to disappear into forever leaving no trace to be followed for the fear of being shattered of being chained down not letting that gorgeousness flutter.
I looked at the setting sun outside, a sight that had always made me sick because my eye-sight became worse with the glittering fading sun, and turning away from it the light still bothered my eyes as I looked at Takuro's sleeping profile, and I saw how a love that deeply can hurt you. Because I know his heart, no matter how much he loves Namie, there is a woman I met once that had looked at him, and he looked at her. It was while we were walking down the town's older shopping center, with the shop that Takuro first saw that he discovered the longing of having a wife that wore one of these dresses. He wanted to so eagerly for me to have one, but the woman there caused him such sorrow and longing as she stuck pins in a beautiful flowing chiffon dress. I had some trouble figuring out the head piece how to put it back on so I acked her to help as I watched, but just then as I looked in the mirror, I caught a glimpse at Takuro, at his eyes. There was something I've seen before, he was staring at her with such a longing that...I recalled where I saw it, Happy Swing International Wild Card, I was on stag with him singing this eact song that popped into my head. The lyrics rose as she was explaining in strange Japanese, but I wasn't listening 'even though I'm so far away, I can still feel you in me..." I looked away then, ebcause I knew I should not peek at this moment which only belonged to him. I noticed that Takuro hesitated so much, loved her it was clear, but he resigned when that woman's daughter entered the store. Her name was Ai, love. I looked back at her, that was a moment I wasn't supposed to be at but, Ai was a few months pregnant and her small bump really made me excited because Seiko was also pregnant just not so much now.
Takuro left then to pick up my sister from the airport and I'd stayed in that shop talking to Ai, and to that woman who kept staring out the window, ever since he left, she seemed anxious, so I asked Ai if her mother knew that man who just came in with me. "Well of course, everyone knows who he is, I know who you are too, though mother doesn't keep up with things like that, tell me, why are you buying your dress in such a small shop in a small town? Surely you can get a luxurious designer dress." Her face was very pretty, that of her mothers, but her lips bothered me, and her eyes too. I asked Ai how old she was, she laughed and whispered it to me a little embarrassed, "I'm 23" she was a little younger than me, however, if my math is correct, that is around the same time that song, the one that talked about longing and feelings that were left unsaid was at the top of the Charts for LoverSoul. It was a silent truth, but I decided to test it a little more, "Ai, I noticed your mom was here alone what does your father do?" That's when her face got a little nervous, she was helping me pick a veil as she answered, "My dad works at the Sakayana restaurant, we also own it, but he's not my father, not by blood." I apologized for bringing it up but she continued, "It's okay, but I never met my real father, my mom says that he's dead, but, I think she doesn't want me to know who is it," I looked away then, maybe she would cry, but she laughed, " I'm okay not having a dad, because...even though I'll never know him I have my mother, and I am this person, and my fiance loves me, he really does Miss Chara. If I am to meet my father then that is fate I'll accept but there is no room for resentment or feelings of hate in me, I gave them up a long time ago." I wondered then, how can such a person be this way, so I asked her incredulously, "How?"She smiled and looked out the window, "Because, that man that came in with you, though he's a rock star he's helped us out since forever, knowing his kindness and his words of wisdom, how can I hate anyone? Besides he's always recommending us to people, I think he was a friend of my mom's you know she used to be a groupie in Tokyo to a lot of bands?" He laughed as she looked at the wall, "I have a step dad though, but he has been with my mom since I was conceived she told me he wasn't my real father, but my mom loves him so I'm fine living this life as long as happiness is possible." This girl Ai, I knew then who her father was, though maybe she knows it too, she said her mother had many famous friends as well, so she lived a good life without a father. The fitting for my dress ended when Takuro got back, I decided to not wear a veil, and decided on a flowing imperial dress with pearls and ribbon sewn into the waist line, lace chiffon and tulle made up the body and it cut from my shoulders to my elbows. the train was strange since it began at the back and just kept flowing. I didn't ask him, I couldn't ask him, but silently the lesson sunk into me and the longing in Takuro's eyes was an intensity I never knew existed, that hesitation was disciplined, and the sorrow inside of him I understood. Because no matter how much he wants to he can't turn back time, but his marriage ring is shiny and will continue to glitter. I promised Ai I'd visit her before her baby was born and we exchanged numbers, the intensity and resolve in her made me really want to be friends with her, and Takuro seemed happy about this, he asked me when I was meeting her I told him I was going to throw her a big baby shower along with Seiko. His smile was one of pride, and he told me he'd help me with it. Being the head of a record label though Takuro has not much to do on most days, his proteges and assistants do most of the work he just approves and that is done through e-mail on his phone mostly. That side of Takuro I saw on the mirror though, told me everything about him unraveling the dept of his devotion. I remembered that Christmas at his house though, the intimacy of family and how well I get along with Namie, the love she feels for Takuro and what he feels for her it's scary so scary that it's fragile and tender, and I could only hope for such a thing. That scariness and tenderness was nothing compared to what he felt for that woman in the wedding shop, her name was Layla.
On this plane, looking at the face of a man I admire more than anything else, I feel his suffering because I know, it will become my suffering, but unlike his pure and tender love that is there but unreachable; mine will vanish. This fear is what is keeping me from sleep and as the glare of the sun bothers me I'm cherishing the feelings of love inside me. I knew someday I'd loose everything, I just didn't think it would be this way, I didn't want it, I still don't it but I'm being dragged across this place in time through an unfamiliar river, naked and cold, and I don't have the strength to hold on to the reeds of the people who love me, I'm helplessly flowing through it, wet and drowning the further it takes me. The sun was gone, and an empty black replaced it, I couldn't make out the stars or the clouds, but as the faint lights became bigger and clearer, I could see the streets of Los Angeles burning, the crumbled buildings, and the variety of people and cars in the streets. They were all going somewhere, away from the city, but others were going towards it. Flooding it. I couldn't make out the hospital, but it was in the area not affected by the chaos, though this earthquake was short it was powerful, I felt the descend as the captain told us of our landing and of the latest news of deaths and rescue missions; we landed. I took Takuro's arm and shook it, he woke up as everyone was getting off , he asked me what they said on the intercom we followed behind them with only ourselves as luggage. "They said that the main roads are shut off, if we need transportation to the city talk to them a the entrance lobby."
We did just this, followed the heard out of the plane and to the lobby it was all a blur, my too obvious grief was consuming me and without realizing we were in a car taking a cracked road to the burning city where in the distance you could see the glorious sun reflecting off the glassed unmoving, unchanging towers, there was now what looked like a sunk in mountain, red and the ashes covering the high way, there were almost no cars heading towards it but there were many leaving, as I noticed the faces of the people in those cars, they were horrid, broken, some cried, some laughing hysterically. It was like watching someone's life all at once, and their death as well, no, not that word. Take it back Charlotte. Another unknown period of time passed and we were in a small city just outside Los Angeles, away from the carnage that we never got to close to. there, I noticed my surroundings for the first time, and I noticed that Takuro was on the phone this entire time. "No, well yes, we're almost here.....mhmm....mhmm...mmm-no, no, I said that I wanted a three rooms yes, and make sure to get Nestea Rasberry ice tea, tiramisu, purple grapes and whatever those shell like cookie bread things are called...yes those, yes, We'll be taking Zetsubou with us today to the hotel is Namie still there? Alright, tell her I'll call her as soon as we see him, yes, alright, take care of them Sheri, alright." His closed his phone and took a deep breath, he wasn't wearing his glasses, and I stared at him face, there was nothing Takuro could not do, but this...is there a way to fix this? Even I had doubts, and for the first time I was my vision blurring into white haziness, and the wet spots underneath my eyes began to ran. I was scared.
written & composed by: TAKURO
Here in this place where the soft wind blows...
right now, the two of us slowly begin to walk
Thousands of times we've met on this earth and parted the same amount of times in our lives
There are those who are merely passing through on the same place
without knowing what's in eachother's hearts
And even though time's closing by so much that I loose sight of my dreams beyond my reach
In a town where everything seemed foreign to me
You give me strength to run through darkness
What I named love is spilled all over time, I named it after you my "eternity"
I couldn't convey to you, anyhow, using only words
But now, I understand what affection means
I want to make you happy... the future in your heart
I will love you so the tears of sadness won't wet you
I couldn't figure out when love began.
instead that summer afternoon I turned my back on you
But now, I that know that was a sin of childish days, idle and wavering
However, even though I'm so far away from you, I can still feel you in me
If I come back, I'll a life a with you
at long last, finally, I can be with you
I can't move one surrounded by people holding onto loneliness
Searching for the place they can finally rest their heart
"It's been to long to meet now, hasn't it?"
Were the words I used as the tears rained down that night
In this tortuous path we took
that's now become a piece of our lives
Now, I'm telling you, the you I've hurt so much "I LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE"
What I named love is spilled all over time, I named it after you my "eternity"
I couldn't convey to you, anyhow, using only words
But now, I understand what affection means
That feeling in my chest when I fell in love
on those mild weekend days
Your voice remained echoing childishly
A glimpse of you is what stopped my heart
Holding onto everything that has to do with you
I slowly begin to walk here at this place, where the soft wind blows…
This song was one that defined my life was playing in my head over and over again. It was written by a man I look to as a father, when I look at his profile now, on this plane heading back to my dying husband...those words come to life, and I want to take that song and live in it, because it talks of a love that was promised on a summer weekend, those days were those of a young person, holding hands and letting go because of the shift of time a gust of wind and then looking back to the eyes to the memory of what love was when you realized it, your heart stops and beats more rapidly because it's identified what it wants, what it needs, because it's love, and this feeling more than any other affects the main operating chip of a person's body, the heart. What is more important than your heart, and the place where you leave it? Mine is about to leave, mine is about to fade, my place, my...distant place that I thought impossible just a few years ago is descending, will I get there in time? Or will I be that person in that song, looking back at a love that was doomed from the beginning but longing for it so badly you want to take it and run away from the world itself, from the tangibility of this realm to disappear into forever leaving no trace to be followed for the fear of being shattered of being chained down not letting that gorgeousness flutter.
I looked at the setting sun outside, a sight that had always made me sick because my eye-sight became worse with the glittering fading sun, and turning away from it the light still bothered my eyes as I looked at Takuro's sleeping profile, and I saw how a love that deeply can hurt you. Because I know his heart, no matter how much he loves Namie, there is a woman I met once that had looked at him, and he looked at her. It was while we were walking down the town's older shopping center, with the shop that Takuro first saw that he discovered the longing of having a wife that wore one of these dresses. He wanted to so eagerly for me to have one, but the woman there caused him such sorrow and longing as she stuck pins in a beautiful flowing chiffon dress. I had some trouble figuring out the head piece how to put it back on so I acked her to help as I watched, but just then as I looked in the mirror, I caught a glimpse at Takuro, at his eyes. There was something I've seen before, he was staring at her with such a longing that...I recalled where I saw it, Happy Swing International Wild Card, I was on stag with him singing this eact song that popped into my head. The lyrics rose as she was explaining in strange Japanese, but I wasn't listening 'even though I'm so far away, I can still feel you in me..." I looked away then, ebcause I knew I should not peek at this moment which only belonged to him. I noticed that Takuro hesitated so much, loved her it was clear, but he resigned when that woman's daughter entered the store. Her name was Ai, love. I looked back at her, that was a moment I wasn't supposed to be at but, Ai was a few months pregnant and her small bump really made me excited because Seiko was also pregnant just not so much now.
Takuro left then to pick up my sister from the airport and I'd stayed in that shop talking to Ai, and to that woman who kept staring out the window, ever since he left, she seemed anxious, so I asked Ai if her mother knew that man who just came in with me. "Well of course, everyone knows who he is, I know who you are too, though mother doesn't keep up with things like that, tell me, why are you buying your dress in such a small shop in a small town? Surely you can get a luxurious designer dress." Her face was very pretty, that of her mothers, but her lips bothered me, and her eyes too. I asked Ai how old she was, she laughed and whispered it to me a little embarrassed, "I'm 23" she was a little younger than me, however, if my math is correct, that is around the same time that song, the one that talked about longing and feelings that were left unsaid was at the top of the Charts for LoverSoul. It was a silent truth, but I decided to test it a little more, "Ai, I noticed your mom was here alone what does your father do?" That's when her face got a little nervous, she was helping me pick a veil as she answered, "My dad works at the Sakayana restaurant, we also own it, but he's not my father, not by blood." I apologized for bringing it up but she continued, "It's okay, but I never met my real father, my mom says that he's dead, but, I think she doesn't want me to know who is it," I looked away then, maybe she would cry, but she laughed, " I'm okay not having a dad, because...even though I'll never know him I have my mother, and I am this person, and my fiance loves me, he really does Miss Chara. If I am to meet my father then that is fate I'll accept but there is no room for resentment or feelings of hate in me, I gave them up a long time ago." I wondered then, how can such a person be this way, so I asked her incredulously, "How?"She smiled and looked out the window, "Because, that man that came in with you, though he's a rock star he's helped us out since forever, knowing his kindness and his words of wisdom, how can I hate anyone? Besides he's always recommending us to people, I think he was a friend of my mom's you know she used to be a groupie in Tokyo to a lot of bands?" He laughed as she looked at the wall, "I have a step dad though, but he has been with my mom since I was conceived she told me he wasn't my real father, but my mom loves him so I'm fine living this life as long as happiness is possible." This girl Ai, I knew then who her father was, though maybe she knows it too, she said her mother had many famous friends as well, so she lived a good life without a father. The fitting for my dress ended when Takuro got back, I decided to not wear a veil, and decided on a flowing imperial dress with pearls and ribbon sewn into the waist line, lace chiffon and tulle made up the body and it cut from my shoulders to my elbows. the train was strange since it began at the back and just kept flowing. I didn't ask him, I couldn't ask him, but silently the lesson sunk into me and the longing in Takuro's eyes was an intensity I never knew existed, that hesitation was disciplined, and the sorrow inside of him I understood. Because no matter how much he wants to he can't turn back time, but his marriage ring is shiny and will continue to glitter. I promised Ai I'd visit her before her baby was born and we exchanged numbers, the intensity and resolve in her made me really want to be friends with her, and Takuro seemed happy about this, he asked me when I was meeting her I told him I was going to throw her a big baby shower along with Seiko. His smile was one of pride, and he told me he'd help me with it. Being the head of a record label though Takuro has not much to do on most days, his proteges and assistants do most of the work he just approves and that is done through e-mail on his phone mostly. That side of Takuro I saw on the mirror though, told me everything about him unraveling the dept of his devotion. I remembered that Christmas at his house though, the intimacy of family and how well I get along with Namie, the love she feels for Takuro and what he feels for her it's scary so scary that it's fragile and tender, and I could only hope for such a thing. That scariness and tenderness was nothing compared to what he felt for that woman in the wedding shop, her name was Layla.
On this plane, looking at the face of a man I admire more than anything else, I feel his suffering because I know, it will become my suffering, but unlike his pure and tender love that is there but unreachable; mine will vanish. This fear is what is keeping me from sleep and as the glare of the sun bothers me I'm cherishing the feelings of love inside me. I knew someday I'd loose everything, I just didn't think it would be this way, I didn't want it, I still don't it but I'm being dragged across this place in time through an unfamiliar river, naked and cold, and I don't have the strength to hold on to the reeds of the people who love me, I'm helplessly flowing through it, wet and drowning the further it takes me. The sun was gone, and an empty black replaced it, I couldn't make out the stars or the clouds, but as the faint lights became bigger and clearer, I could see the streets of Los Angeles burning, the crumbled buildings, and the variety of people and cars in the streets. They were all going somewhere, away from the city, but others were going towards it. Flooding it. I couldn't make out the hospital, but it was in the area not affected by the chaos, though this earthquake was short it was powerful, I felt the descend as the captain told us of our landing and of the latest news of deaths and rescue missions; we landed. I took Takuro's arm and shook it, he woke up as everyone was getting off , he asked me what they said on the intercom we followed behind them with only ourselves as luggage. "They said that the main roads are shut off, if we need transportation to the city talk to them a the entrance lobby."
We did just this, followed the heard out of the plane and to the lobby it was all a blur, my too obvious grief was consuming me and without realizing we were in a car taking a cracked road to the burning city where in the distance you could see the glorious sun reflecting off the glassed unmoving, unchanging towers, there was now what looked like a sunk in mountain, red and the ashes covering the high way, there were almost no cars heading towards it but there were many leaving, as I noticed the faces of the people in those cars, they were horrid, broken, some cried, some laughing hysterically. It was like watching someone's life all at once, and their death as well, no, not that word. Take it back Charlotte. Another unknown period of time passed and we were in a small city just outside Los Angeles, away from the carnage that we never got to close to. there, I noticed my surroundings for the first time, and I noticed that Takuro was on the phone this entire time. "No, well yes, we're almost here.....mhmm....mhmm...mmm-no, no, I said that I wanted a three rooms yes, and make sure to get Nestea Rasberry ice tea, tiramisu, purple grapes and whatever those shell like cookie bread things are called...yes those, yes, We'll be taking Zetsubou with us today to the hotel is Namie still there? Alright, tell her I'll call her as soon as we see him, yes, alright, take care of them Sheri, alright." His closed his phone and took a deep breath, he wasn't wearing his glasses, and I stared at him face, there was nothing Takuro could not do, but this...is there a way to fix this? Even I had doubts, and for the first time I was my vision blurring into white haziness, and the wet spots underneath my eyes began to ran. I was scared.
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